I introduced the blog feature on my website with the goal of improving my Google ranking and increasing website traffic. The initial idea was to enrich the site’s content. Here, I wish to address not only design and user experience but also life, personal discoveries, my growth in another country, the pursuit of a lighter and more holistic life, as well as topics like nutrition and Ayurveda. I don’t want to be labeled just as a designer; my desire is for this space to reflect more of who I am.
The other day, I was watching the stories of a friend who was about to become a mother. She shared the difficulty of pausing her career to dedicate time to her soon-to-arrive daughter. Initially, she thought it would be easy, but as the day of the break approached, she faced more challenges. She began to question who she was beyond her professional identity.
This reminded me of moments when I went through similar situations. Since 2010, I’ve worked as a designer, and since 2015, I’ve been self-employed. I built the life of my dreams in Brazil and lived it intensely. Despite being grateful for everything I experienced, there was a void within me. Sometimes, it felt like I couldn’t evolve beyond what I had already achieved, just repeating the same cycle.
In 2020, a pandemic year challenging for the whole world, I was at the peak of my career, with increasing demand from clients due to the shift to digital. Despite global difficulties, I’m grateful for having lived in Florianópolis, surrounded by great friends and fulfilling many dreams. It was a year of hard work and learning.
At the beginning of that same year, I expressed the dream of living abroad. I planned this for March 2020, but circumstances didn’t allow it. Initially, this frustrated me a lot, but today I see it as a gift to have stayed where I was and experienced what I did. However, I admit that I was often not fully present; my mind was sometimes elsewhere. Looking at photos from that time often brings nostalgia, as it took me a while to feel happy in Miami, realizing I was repeating the pattern of not fully living in the present moment.
Brené Brown, in her book Atlas of the Heart, defines nostalgia as a longing for the idealized and self-protective way things used to be in the past. In my journey, I realize that, while I have felt nostalgia, my greater challenge is anxiety about the future. By living like this, I often missed fully enjoying the present. When I look at these photos, I realize that sometimes I wasn’t truly present, as I was eager to experience what I live today, so it no longer makes sense to live wanting something, but rather live now.
Today, I can write about these experiences because I recognize where I was emotionally. After much therapeutic work, I learned to recognize and accept my emotions without letting them define me. Now, I allow them to dissipate.
Living what I dreamed of in 2020 required making choices to be where I am today. One of them was not dedicating one hundred percent of my time only to work, as before. I had to learn new skills and return to the classroom. Often, I feel exhausted, full of doubts and fears. But life is beautiful because of this, and I’ve learned not to waste suffering. When it arises, it’s an opportunity to learn and, ultimately, let it go.
Everything in life is phases. Between the past and the future, there’s something precious: the present moment, where I choose to live. So, seize today, live it, connect with yourself and your essence. Celebrate the miracle that is life, knowing that all phases are temporary. The choices I made, the dreams I realized, the people I met, and the new paths that emerged in my life continue to help me discover who I truly am and experience these phases with beauty and gratitude.
